Does God want me to stay in a loveless marriage?
- Sandra Currie
- May 12
- 3 min read

Navigating the complexities of marriage can be challenging, especially when feelings of love seem to fade. As a pastoral counselor, I understand these struggles deeply. If you find yourself in a loveless marriage, you may be questioning whether God wants you to stay in this relationship. It is essential to approach this topic with prayer, reflection, and an understanding of biblical principles regarding love and marriage.
God does not desire for you to remain in a loveless marriage; instead, He offers a path to restoration that does not include divorce. He wants to see love restored and relationships mended. While the journey may be difficult, remember that with God’s help, healing and renewal are possible. Trust in His plan for your marriage, seek His guidance, and take active steps towards rekindling the love that once brought you together. Your marriage can be a testament to God’s healing grace and the power of His love. As Romans 8:28 assures us, all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
What does the Bible say about being in a loveless marriage?
The Biblical Foundation of Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant established by God. Genesis 2:24 states, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This verse highlights the profound union and commitment that marriage entails. God desires for this bond to be filled with love, respect, and mutual support. Furthermore, Malachi 2:14 emphasizes that God is a witness to the covenant of marriage, underscoring its importance in His eyes.
Understanding Love in Marriage
The Bible teaches us about the nature of love, particularly in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, where it describes love as patient, kind, and not self-seeking. These qualities are essential for a thriving marriage. However, love is not merely a feeling; it is an action and a choice. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church, demonstrating a sacrificial and unconditional love. When love feels absent, it is crucial to remember that love can be restored. The journey of rekindling love may require effort, communication, and, at times, professional guidance. God does not want us to remain in a loveless state; rather, He desires for us to seek healing and restoration in our relationships.
God's Heart for Restoration
While it may be tempting to consider divorce when love seems lost, we must remember that God’s desire is for reconciliation and restoration. In 2 Corinthians 5:18, we are reminded that God has given us the ministry of reconciliation. This applies not only to our relationship with Him but also to our relationships with one another. If you find yourself in a loveless marriage, it is essential to pray for guidance and wisdom. Ask God to help you see your spouse through His eyes and to reignite the love that may have faded. Surround yourself with supportive Christian friends, seek wise counsel, and engage in open and honest conversations with your spouse about your feelings. The promise in Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to not be anxious but to present our requests to God, trusting that He will provide peace in our hearts.
Practical Steps Towards Restoration
Consider these practical steps to work towards restoring love in your marriage:
Communicate Openly: Share your feelings with your spouse, expressing your desire for a more loving relationship.
Pray Together: Invite God into your marriage by praying together regularly, asking for His guidance and healing.
Seek Wise Counsel: Consider pastoral counseling to help navigate the challenges you are facing from a biblical perspective (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22).
Invest in Each Other: Make time for each other, engage in activities you both enjoy, and prioritize your relationship.
Practice Forgiveness: Let go of past hurts and work towards forgiving one another, as God forgives us (Ephesians 4:32).
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